IMPORTANT: This fanfiction is rated PG13+
There was no place for a mercenary anymore. The world itself was just so damned peaceful, and the recent conflict with those FM aliens wasn’t something he was equipped to do anything about. In fact, most supers gave up after the Net Wars two hundred years earlier that proved to them that they were no longer needed. The vast majority of superheroes and villains are dead, and the rest keep a low profile.
The man lying in a bed inside his apartment was a mere shadow of what he once was. While he may have the body of a thirty year-old Olympic athlete, he had the soul of a withered, bitter old man. His soul was numb, the kind of numbness you feel when you can’t feel anything else. He was so numb it hurt.
And of course, this numbness, this void, attracted FM-ians like flies on dung.
“It must get lonely, with all of your friends gone, doesn’t it Wade?” A sweet feminine voice seemed to say inside of his head.
Deadpool let out a grunt. Not like this was the first time he had heard voices in his head.
“I’ve never had any friends, and the ones that die are the lucky ones. Now get the fuck out of my head.” He knows he shouldn’t answer; the voices would go away soon if he ignored them, but old habits like talking die hard.
“But I have a deal for you, Wade. Aren’t you tired of getting up ever day and realizing it’s going to be the same as the thousands before it? Aren’t you tired of working a dull job for ten years and then moving to keep suspicion off of yourself? Don’t you want to be Deadpool once more?”
He took his hands, put them over his ears and kept his eyes closed.
“I’m not listening! I’m not listening to you! And Deadpool’s dead. He died along time ago, and he’s going to stay dead. If he doesn’t, I’ll kill him.” Just when he was thinking that the voices in his head had stopped bothering him for good, here they come, sure as hell. The voice chuckled.
“Don’t be silly. You’ve been dead before, haven’t you? Open your eyes Wade, I’m not just in your head.”
“Well, you’re not in my stomach, are you?” The voice chuckles cutely again.
“No, I’m-“ the voices changes slightly, it seemed to be coming from nowhere before, but now it was coming from beside him, “-right beside you.”
It took Deadpool no more than two seconds to draw the gun he had hidden illegally inside of his pillowcase, and a second to get into a sitting position on his bed, another second to aim the gun at approximately where the voice was coming from. After that it took him no time at all to drop the gun in shock after seeing the voice’s owner.
It was a dark red fire that gave off no heat at all, and in the center of the ‘flame’ (for lack of a better term) was a completely black mask like object that was shaped like a human female’s face. The mask’s features did not change as it, or she from the sound of it, spoke.
“You’ve gotten rusty, Deadpool. From the videos of you I’ve found, you would not have dropped that gun in the past. Hello, I am Ursula-Min. You may call me Min. I have come to you because your planet is in great danger, and its savior shall need help that only you can give.”
Oh great, he thought, now I’m seeing things too.
“I think I’m just going to go back to sleep…” He didn’t finish the sentence. The room seemed to become engulfed in the red flame, and the red color became darker.
“YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME!!!” The voice carried so much force that Deadpool fell out of bed. Good thing Deadpool had the room sound proofed, just in case stuff like this happened.
“Ouch. You’re a female, aren’t you?”
The flame seemed retract and focus itself back into it’s previous shape, “Well, that’s as close to my gender as you can come in a language that involves the use of sound vibrations, so yes. How could you tell?”
He refrained from saying that only a woman could bitch that loudly, but refrained. Also something the old Deadpool wouldn’t have done. Instead he said:
“Why, only a female could be as lovely as you.” When dealing with women of this variety, it’s best to lie.
Her hue lightened from red to more of a pink color, “Um, thanks…” she giggles.
“Now, you were talking ‘bout a deal? I’m listening now. Been awhile since I’ve had one of those.
Her color darkens again. “Oh, right. Do you know about waves?”
“Yeah, I know about waves. It’s not like they’re new. Microwaves, cell phones, gamma radiation, all that cool stuff. And now that I’m a bit more awake, I’d guess you’re a
FM-ian.” He laughs a bit at the memory.
“What’s so funny about that?” she said indignantly.
“The contact that told me about you guys asked me the same question. I’m just about the only person that remembers what FM radio is, so you wouldn’t get it if I told you. So, what is this deal?”
“Since you already know about us, it’s very simple. I give you the power to walk and fight on wave roads, and you assist the savior of this planet.”
“Who would be…?”
“Geo Stelar. You do know him, correct?”
“The gloomy kid next door with the hot mom? I have a camera in her… um, yeah, I know him,” Deadpool finished lamely, “Why that runt? I could beat him into past by blinking too fast.”
Min sighed, “I have no clue. My leader chose him, and he won’t give me any reasons. I suggested you to him, but he said something about you being too ‘emotionally unstable’”.
“Nonsense. You can never be too unstable.”
She did something that looked like shrugging by proximity. “Well, do you have a transer?”
“Of course. You have to have one these days or they just about take away your breathing license!” He got up from the floor and grabbed his black and red transer off of his nightstand and put it on his left wrist.
“Do you have a blank Navi card?”
“Sure. Nothing up my sleeves-“
“But you aren’t wearing a-“
“And, Shazam!” With a flourish of his right hand he produced a blank card.
“That was neat! Do it a-“ she cleared her throat and got serious again,” I mean, let’s continue. Do you agree to the terms?”
“You put me back in the game, I save the world. I accept, so now what?”
She ‘touches’ the card by extending her flame, and then a flash of crimson light blinds him for a few seconds. When he can see again, he looks down at his previously blank card to see an image of Min, with her full name at the bottom.
Okay, now you’ve got to say…” she whispers what he has to say into his ear, and then giggles yet again.
“No freakin’ way.”
“Oh, why not?” she pouts, “You have to. It won’t work other wise.”
“Fine, but if I turn into a Power Ranger, I don’t care if you don’t have a physical body, I’ll find away to shoot you.” He swipes the cared and yells:
“EM Wave Change!
On the air!”